Some days it hits me and some days I hardly think of it at all. I DON’T HAVE A JOB.
I kinda wish I could say I wasn’t challenged or wasn’t happy anymore and I gave my notice, it was my decision. But, that’s not how it went down. My company was acquired (about a year and a half ago) and my duties were absorbed by Corporate. I basically saw it coming, though I thought it’d happen sooner, so I guess you also don’t really ever think it will happen to you. I had worked since I was 14 rescuing frogs from the Frog Bog and calling people over to play my games on the boardwalk. This didn’t happen to me. But, on that day… my manager (I do miss her so!) walked in my office and I walked out of the building after 11 years. It was such an odd feeling. I didn’t know what to do on my way home… laugh, cry, mourn, or celebrate.
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. I have no ill will towards anyone. I get it. That’s business. And honestly, I truly believe that it will be for the best. That doesn’t make this “in-between” time any less strange. The first time I went to Costco on a Tuesday around noon was probably the first time it hit me. So weird what triggers emotions. I should have been at work, not out shopping. And seriously… why is Costco ALWAYS so crowded??? Doesn’t anyone work???
My running mileage has increased, I’ve been able to go to more and different classes at the gym, my house is cleaner, I learned how to do the lawn, etc., and I’m generally happier. Thankfully I haven’t gotten bored yet (knock wood). Of course I’m sure the fact that it is summer helps. But, looking for a job is hard work. Especially when you are looking for something awesome because you are convinced that is why this all played out this way. It feels like you are reading the same descriptions over and over again and not too many sound all that appealing. It is time consuming and mostly you just search for hours without even remotely liking anything you see. That feels like a waste of time. But, whatever my next step is meant to be, I know it will be great. I’m focusing on all the positive because I truly believe it is my chance. There are times where I do have to keep reminding myself that it wasn’t anything personal. That it was nothing I did or neglected to do. But, I know that is the case and I know it will be okay.
C has been soooo incredibly supportive. He just wants me to be happy. He’s been encouraging me to think outside the box. That’s harder of course. A new job is the easy comfortable thing to do. But, thinking outside the box is risky. I’m slowly warming towards the idea.
So, we’ll see what the next chapter is and try to enjoy the process along the way.
For now… Cheers!